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Okay...so this is the first "real" entry for the new journal...I'm here because that's where Neil is...go figure...it seemed as good a reason as any...besides, Neil went and tweaked this for me so that it would look a lot like my old journal (which means that Rich won't yell at me as he has in the past when I tried to play around with the "look" of my journal...but that's another story altogether). It's good to be friends with a html wizard... So, here we are...again. I'm at lunch, as usual... and am waxing rather reflective upon my life of late. It's all DAWSON'S CREEK's fault...I was watching that last night... and it made me think...a lot more than I thought it would, actually. With everyone there going on and on about the things they have or have not done with their lives, made me think about my own. I'm not doing any of the things I thought I'd be doing... nothing in my life has gone exactly to plan. It's so freaky, but I guess that's what happens sometimes. I'm trying hard to not be too disappointed in myself... a rather easy thing to do on occasion. I find that kicking myself and reminding myself about my son helps somewhat. I want to have that talk with my husband...the one that starts with "do I still make you happy, at all?" and hopefully ends with us coming to some sort of mutual agreement without any physical stuff. I'm biding my time now...we've got this sci-fi convention to go to this weekend and I don't want to rock the boat and start something I know will affect the weekend. Meanwhile, I am going to be meeting someone there in person after having chatted with him via IM and the phone for about a month or so. I'm getting cold feet and thinking about not doing it...meeting him, that is. But he's coming to the hotel where the con is going to be, so not meeting him would be foolish. I can be adult about this, right? And, we're just meeting to have drinks...or so we keep telling each other. It's funny...sometimes I swear I know what I'm doing... and, at other times, I realize I'm just letting the current carry me...and I don't seem to give a damn where I'm going. Somewhat unsettling...but nice to know that I'm still self-aware. |