|
|
|
I'm here...I'm confused...what else is new... I see that since I've started this version of my journal, I've "walked away" from two people...and, it makes me sound shallow...or something equally odd. I think walking from Chuck was a good thing...he was sort of like this weird emotional black hole in my life...and I ignored the signs...I tried to meet his emotional intensity but failed miserably since I was only mirroring back his own desire for something "more"... luckily, we never did meet...or else I'm sure I'd be in a more complicated place. As it is now, we had what was probably our last IM conversation last Monday, where I admitted to things and he basically said, "well, screw you, I'm going to boink some 23 year old hottie instead." In a way, it was a relief for me...he once accused me of pushing away men who get too close...he's probably right... And, then there's David. That one actually means a bit more and I'm waiting for it not to...mean more that is. I'm an idiot, I know. Meanwhile, my escapades in meaningless (or, semi-meaningless...or maybe just frivolous...not sure yet) phone sex continue. I have talked with Jeff from Dallas a couple of times since I first mentioned him...mostly in IM, but we've had a few really good phone sex calls...all with the Catholic mass sort of theme...lol...which is really kinky...if you're Catholic. I wonder if the novelty will wear out around the same time as the phone sex...or vice versa... I've also been talking with Tom from Minnesota. He has been a lot of fun as well...mostly because he was willing (twice in one day...last Thursday, I believe) to call my cell phone and leave me long extended voice messages of himself...spanking his monkey, as it were. It's just a phone sex thing...I'm sure that he'll tire of me and move on soon enough. But, this morning, I will admit that I did have phone sex w/him after Jeff...basically because I could...and I like to hear him scream my name when he ejaculates. I wonder about these men...is it just because I provide phone sex without charge or is there something in my voice or method that makes them really want to talk to me? Should take a poll, I guess. Oh, must also mention the nameless guy from Chicago who called me on Sunday for quickie phone sex. It was fun, but nothing truly memorable. p.s. my period started...which is a relief...esp. since horrid sex guy was bragging to me on the drive back that his sperm was so potent that he got his wife pregnant after just having that one last "we're about to get a divorce so let's fuck for old time's sake" sex session with her (which, from a woman's perspective, was rather wily on her part...hell, she got preggers and now they're not getting divorced...). Hmmm...someone's going to send me condoms...can't remember who...ahh...I remember now...they're supposed to be British imports...lol...well, that's okay...the sell them here...I just have to remember to pick them up. |