I wish I didn't care so damned much about what's going to happen next... or not happen, as the case may be... meanwhile, I have to pretend like it doesn't hurt... that's nothing is wrong... stupid me...

My heart aches so much I cannot seem to think of anything else... again, stupid me... can't believe I've done this again... all my fault, of course for letting it happen...for over-explaining something and only making it worse.

Someone take my heart from me...I don't want it anymore. It hurts too much to keep it...but I'd miss it if it was gone...what a quandry...but typical...

Ouch...


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