I've come to the realization that voices are what do it for me...that's what attracts me to men first...which is why phone sex (when the voice is right) does it for me...on different levels...weird, isn't it? Which is why I've told David that he's a dangerous element in my life...his voice is very seductive...reminds me of Josh somewhat.

lol...my friend and sometimes desk-sharer (kinda hard to explain, don't try to figure it out, it will only hurt you), Tammy, is now trying to convince me to do her homework...only because she thinks I know more than she does... at least, about foreign countries... which might be true, but I'm not doing her homework for her...no matter how nicely she asks...and I don't care that our other mutual friend and co-worker used to do her sons' homework...that's another story entirely.

I often wonder if I deliberately try to sabotage my relationships with men by pushing the envelope as far as honesty and relationships and where I view them being...I think I often scare people with my ponderings...notice, I didn't say "insight"...that would be presuming too much...instead, I think I keep pushing/straining/testing to see how far I can drag someone along my paths of torturous thinking before they pull away and look for people less mentally challenging to play with...I'm bad that way, I guess...but I don't think I'm going to change...I'll just keep looking, like Diogenes with his lamp, I'll keep looking...for what exactly I'm not sure...but the "looking" part is rather amusingly fun...


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