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Still at work...doing second job stuff...don't know how long this will last, as hubby is getting tired of having to deal with son for two hours or so on his own. Anyhow, today, for lunch, I met Dave. He picked me up at my building and drove me back to his house...30 minutes away...so that he could show me his house and we could do whatever...then he drove me back to my building. It was not very fulfilling...was momentarily exciting, but no climax, no release, no sense of contentment. Very frustrating. He is a small man with a small frame...and he was in good condition and proportionate to his size. I don't know what to tell him when he calls for a second meeting. Meanwhile, called Neil this morning, as promised. It was a good conversation and I am taking it at face value and assuming that he's really doing better than he sounds in his journal. And, last but not least, I heard from David. I called him yesterday and left a message on his voice mail asking him if he thought he'd be better off with or without me in his life. I didn't hear a reply yesterday so I assumed that his answer was "without". Surprise, surprise, I was wrong. So, we're talking again...and my half-assed effort at walking away will hopefully be forgotten. I have realized that I have successfully walked away from two people of my own free will. In addition to Chuck, I remembered Jeff, the Navy guy who really got me back into the swing of phone sex after I had given it up (around the same time I ended my pso gig). He was interesting and I cannot even remember now what made me walk away from him. I'm giving up on the local hookups...I am learning that meaningless sex with men I hardly know is pointless...not much fun and ultimately disappointing. "Restraint" I believe is the word I heard today...gonna practice that...as the entire concept of field studies is not gratifying in and of itself. I will say that he came rather quickly and blamed it on me... lol...I "turned him on"... whatever... the bottom line is that he came too soon and I didn't come at all... |