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Well, life is rather odd, don't you think? Last night was weird, I spent most of it awake...mostly because I had such a horrendous sinus headache that I couldn't breathe if I was horizontal... so, I ended up online...but no one was around, so I popped into Mistress' room and chatted for a bit with the people there. Of course, I managed to steer the topic to sex and actually discussed a little of my criteria requirements, esp. the "tasting your own bodily fluids" one. It was rather interesting, I think. Meanwhile, Jason is complaining that my journal isn't racy enough...lol... which is rather funny considering that I have been very restrained about what I write due to the fact that I "know" most of the people reading this...and I am inhibited by that knowledge. I have been toying with the idea of opening up another journal to just chronicle the exploits with all the gory details, but I haven't gotten around to following through. This weekend should be fun. Plans have been finalized...after all the debating about possibly doing a 3some with Francois and my dancer friend, I've decided to just play it safe and go to Tampa on Friday and hang out with my friends there and meet Alex at some point. I'm having residual guilt still, over Ozzie, but that's about it. I don't feel anything else, really, mostly because I wasn't "in love" with him... there's just a void, a sort of gap in my heart. No pain, just loss of concern. Does that make sense at all? I think that my past experiences with "Rich" and Chuck and David have taught me about the futility of trying to feel anything more than agape love for people online. Having found out that Jason is a self-professed Christian (which is not a bad thing, just an unforeseen, unanticipated facet), I am wondering how he'll feel about my Jezebellian entries...it's not that I feel any different now...I know that I'm in hedonistic Jezebel mode...I guess I'm feeling some guilt for having admitted to it...but that's me...can't be helped. Okay, back to work...on my birthday...and, I cannot freaking smell anything! Darned head cold! Have to go and cut up a pineapple... it's a lost art, granted, but one that my father taught me long ago...not the barbaric wasteful American way either. Oh, it's just one of those things that has to be seen to be understood...but I digress, as usual... |