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This is it...I am beginning the process. Yesterday, I read FS61... which basically deals with the concept of "dissolution of marriage" in Florida...legally speaking. I had asked the "second husband" to be my husband's friend after I separate from him. My second husband promptly asked that I wait until after the Miami Bookfair, as he wanted my husband to be "focused"...this is the event that they are probably going to make lots and lots of money at. So, out of respect to him and their latest moneymaking venture, I am going to wait. That gives me two weeks to pack and get myself prepared. I've already told my parents...given them a heads-up that I will be moving in with them soon. And, work, well...the only person who really matters both supports and is annoyed by my decision. Supportive because she knows that it is ultimately what is best for me.... and annoyed because she knows that it means that she'll have to replace me. He has no idea, no clue. Our emotional distancing continues. I am sure on some level he picks up on my withdrawal. But, he's also distracted and is willing to take my "oh, nothing's wrong" statements. I cannot stay...truly. There is no intense feeling beyond a desire to go. I love him for the father that he is to our son, but that's about it. I'm not in love with him anymore...nor, do I think that he feels that way about me...if he were to admit to the truth. We don't really respect each other, he told me that much the 3rd time he tried to leave me...or played at leaving me... not sure which is more accurate at this point. And, the most telling thing, he doesn't want to work on our marriage. He thinks that marriage counseling is a crock...even though I've asked repeatedly but it all boils down to his adamant refusal to go. Therefore, I'm making plans to go. My goal now is to be gone by the time he returns from the Bookfair...that's in two weeks. I am not sure yet if I will lose my nerve or find a reason why I shouldn't go, blah, blah, blah. My initial plan was to stick it out until after the holidays...but I realize that's only another delay tactic. |