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It's Saturday night and the meeting with "V" and "Daman" didn't happen. "V" is a bifem I met online who wanted to hook up for real...then I met her bf, "Daman" online too, and we all decided that it would be fun if we met. So, they were supposed to pick me up tonight, after Pete had picked up Petey. Well, "V" called me two hours before we were supposed to meet up and she told me that "Daman" had had more car troubles and he wasn't back from Tampa yet. He said that there'd be other times and I told her that I didn't think so because I was going to be meeting Ozzie next weekend to figure out where we were as far as the relationship we have. Oh well. It would have been interesting if it had happened. Meanwhile, the drama of the separation continues. On Thanksgiving eve, Pete decided to call me up and start accusing me of being an unfit mother because I couldn't support myself and that was proven by the fact that I was living in my parents' house and didn't have a job yet. He said he was going to show up here and take Petey back with him. I had to talk him out of it and I managed that...somehow. I am pretty sure that I didn't make any new promises. He did point out at one point that I really needed to get therapy. Which is rich coming from the man who had basically said that any therapy or counseling was a crock of shit and we'd be wasting our time. He also pointed out his entire "holidays means drinking and as a child of an alcoholic, I learned to hate holidays" revelation that he probably got out of the book that his therapist had asked him to read. He calmed down finally and said he'd see me on Saturday when he picked up Petey. He was amazingly restrained when he showed up and told me "come home--soon" once...as he hugged me before getting into the van to drive away. In the virtual world, I am enjoying my webcam...and not doing too much damage with it...lol. I've gotten some bizarre requests though...most of which I haven't given into. I've been chatting with men located in various parts of Florida who all want to meet me...or have me as a partner when they go to swing clubs. I'm not seriously considering meeting any of them because of the unresolved issues with Ozzie. I just finished having a fun time with Chris from Cali...I just realized while talking with Ozzie afterwards that I'm attracted to Chris because he looks or reminds me of Ozzie, it's a face and hair thing, I think. Anyhow, I watched Chris on cam and Chris watched me on cam and we chatted while I juggled other side conversations that weren't totally as interesting as the one with Chris. And, I think that Ozzie's being slightly buzzed led him to tell me something that's got me feeling anxious. He called me after I called but didn't leave a message. He told me that he was in a strip club and was describing what was going on, a beautiful black girl was buying him drinks and the guys he's hanging with are all annoyed because Ozzie hasn't had to buy any of his drinks. I told him that he had better get at least a lapdance with her. Anyhow, when he said that he had to call me back, they asked if I was his girlfriend, and he said he told them "not yet". It was cute of him to say that, but it's also got me a tad anxious...body image issues and all that rot. Still, one or both of our services kept dropping the signal so he had to call me back...and, I was in the middle of trying to explain the "Chris looks like you" revelation and wanting to tell him to enjoy himself and stop talking to me when the call got dropped again. So, I waited about fifteen minutes and I called him back to tell him to have fun and call me after he was over his hangover. So, that's where I am now....as far as other relationships. I have a lot of affection for Ozzie...based on the fact that he's lasted this long, plus our mutual attraction to each other, but I'm not quite sure if there's anything more than that. There's a component missing that would allow me to say without any doubts that I am "in love" with him. I have told him that I love him...and he's used the Patrick Swayze out of saying "ditto" in reply. That's fine...I wasn't fishing for commitment, truly...it was really more about me putting my feelings out there...not wanting to play games or be coy about how I feel. LOL...just finished having four or five different phone calls with Ozzie...who was returning the call where I left the message...he didn't check the message, just called me back...then he had me talk to the pretty girl he was sitting with. She sounded really sweet...a flight attendant who's also working at the club to make ends meet. Unfortunately, the signal kept fading in and out, so I didn't hear everything she said...then, what followed were partial conversations each cut off by the sucky signal we each had. |